The Intolerant Liberal is a new species that has arrived on the scene. They are not like the liberals of old. They would never make an offensive joke, and they are perfectly happy to not only point out those who do but join in on the mob that punishes them.
The Intolerant liberals have forgotten much of the great art that used to define them way back in the day. They have forgotten Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery, Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, and all of those on-point Twilight Zone episodes, like It’s a Good Life and The Monsters, are Due on Maple Street.
They’ve forgotten how funny it was to listen to Sam Kinison make one offensive joke after the next, gifting us with the necessary release of laughter, the very thing we need to stay sane.
Richard Pryor would not survive a minute in the time of Intolerant Liberals.
Therein lies Survival Tip Number One: They can’t take a joke. Oh, boy, can they not take a joke. If every single day is the end of the world, how can anything be funny? It’s not funny. It’s HARM. Social media has given them a way to dissect every joke and every word said by everyone.
Imagine how fast sanity would return if they admitted that Trump was funny.
That’s all it would take to open up the door to the Doomsday Bunker so they, too, can break free from the mass delusion that they are the “oppressed resistance.” And yet…they can’t. They’ve never been the resistance. They’ve always been The Empire, an Empire that is now collapsing.
The richest Intolerant Liberals in the world seem to need Trump because how else to justify their wealth and privilege while they sell ice cream called “Eat the Rich”?
Note how this Intolerant Liberal throws in “book banning,” as though they are the side that has any room to talk. Books aren’t banned because they never make it past the assistant’s desk unless they project the ideals of Utopia.
We’ve seen how books by JK Rowling and Dr. Seuss have been left off of reading lists, how warning labels have been affixed to movies because the Intolerant Liberals are so afraid of one person’s mental breakdown and ensuing social media backlash that they play it safe. Here is a screenshot of a trigger warning, posted by Kat Rosenfield:
Speaking of Amazon, they implemented guidelines for writers and producers called the DEI Playbook after the Great Awokening. Sane people were horrified at this level of control, but not the Intolerant Liberals. To them, it was both making society more correct and protecting themselves at the top from the scolds on social media:
The Playbook is gone, but stories online remain (the Intolerant Liberal might want to take note: the internet is written in ink).
Now that the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences has also implemented its own DEI mandate and rules for productions to be considered to win the Oscars, perhaps it’s time to put a different kind of trigger warning on movies.
How about:
—“This movie was written and cast under the strict guidelines of the DEI playbook.”
—“This movie reverses the power hierarchy that might offend Catholics, like making the Pope intersex.”
—“This movie took out the kiss at the end because we wanted to send the message that women do not need men.”
—”The Oscar ceremony you will watch includes a transgender person in the Best Actress category for the first time.
—”This is a movie aimed at children that convinces them that they might be transgender or at least non-binary.”
—“This movie, like every movie, depicts only white people as the villains and elevates every other group just to ensure our ticket buyers go home hating themselves.”
— “This movie decided to teach its fan base a lesson by removing the traditional male hero and replacing him with a girl boss.”
Here a Nazi, there a Nazi, everywhere a Nazi, Nazi
Claiming the moral high ground is important for the Intolerant Liberal. It might be tempting to mock them for their unending lunacy but beware.
When encountering one of these unhinged, freaked-out, delusional people, it’s important to think about safety first.
Keep a safe distance, especially if wearing a MAGA hat. Stay far enough away that they can’t spit on you, smack the hat off of your head, or kick or punch you. Avoid eye contact. Pretend to be on a phone call, and you don’t see them glaring at you with daggers in their eyes.
Walk slowly or back away if confronted. If they do attack, and you can’t evade a fist or a glob of spit, try making yourself bigger than they are, as one might do when confronting a bear on a hiking trail. Bellow at them loudly, “HEY LIBERAL! HEY LIBERAL!”
Subjects to Avoid
The Truth
It is always a mistake to discuss the truth with an Intolerant Liberal. They’re not accustomed to it. Truth isn’t really truth. It’s negotiated truth, the truth that they have deemed acceptable.
There is no such thing as a “biological man” or “biological woman.”
Joe Biden was not too old to run.
Kamala Harris was a great candidate.
Hollywood’s box office isn’t dying.
Trump is a fascist dictator, criminal, rapist felon.
The 2020 election was perfectly normal.
Masks protected us from the spread of COVID.
The vaccine must be given to children, and masks must be placed on toddlers.
Listen to how this CNN anchor corrects the truth-teller:
It is always important to ensure everyone keeps those plates spinning lest the truth crashes them to the floor.
The Ministry of Cinema
Asking a woman out can be a tricky proposition in the time of the Intolerant Liberal. They view most “cis-gendered, heteronormative” men as rapists or predators, incels afflicted with toxic masculinity.
If you ask a woman for her phone number or Instagram, she might say you are harassing her and report you to your boss. It’s probably best to ask a test question to determine whether she will rat you out or not. Say something like, “You know that movie Body Heat? I loved that movie.” If she says, “Yeah, except it was about a rapist.” Hard pass.
When speaking directly to an Intolerant Liberal female, it’s best never to bring up sex at all, not ever. Never think that this monologue from Bull Durham, for instance, would be acceptable today.
That was the Old Left, when good behavior and proper language weren’t in the vocabulary. Crash Davis is an example of the extinct alpha male that used to populate American film. The clearest example of this is Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire.
I imagine for women of all ages and walks of life, seeing this would be like eating chocolate after going no-sugar for ten years. The nervous system couldn’t handle it. That Brando plays a brute and an actual rapist would probably mean a disclaimer at the beginning or perhaps banned outright. However, they might feel slightly conflicted after seeing how hot he is on screen.
The Intolerant Liberal has made a world that mostly erases the past, 1984-style. You can maybe bring up a movie like Scent of a Woman, but you must admit that it would be considered “rape culture” by today’s standards. Imagine this scene, for instance, under the ever-watchful gaze of Vanity Fair or Teen Vogue:
But Scent of a Woman continues to be a problem for Intolerant Liberals because of a scene that exposes the truth about how all of them used to think in the old days before they decided to become the very thing they used to condemn:
Ministry of Truth
I’ve spent much of my life feeling like I wasn’t enough —not pretty enough, not smart enough, not talented enough, not hard-working enough, and not organized enough. One thing I’ve learned over the past decade is that I might be all of those things, but the one thing I am not is what the Intolerant Liberals said I was.
And that was the most important lesson I learned from watching Trump: he didn’t accept it either. He knew who he was. His gift throughout this era was to survive. As their attacks against him escalated, he never backed down. He just shrugged and went on with things with optimism and good cheer.
Deflecting attacks from an Intolerant Liberal reminds me of something we used to say as kids, “I know you are but what am I?”
So here are some rules to live by:
You are on the right side. History never sides with the witch hunters, the pitchfork mobs, the struggle sessions, the show trials. They side with those who stood up against them.
Never apologize unless you make a mistake or do something wrong. Apologizing to people for their choice to take offense or their definition of who you are is like confessing as a witch to live.
Never allow them to make you feel shame for who you are and what you believe. They are the ones who should feel shame for never giving anyone the benefit of the doubt, accusing and condemning in the court of public opinion, and all of the ways they have destroyed people over their own refusal to relinquish power.
Does it hurt to be on the other side of so many friends and family who used to love you? Of course. It hurts to be rejected. It hurts in places you never knew existed. It’s a punch in the stomach every day. But sooner or later, the worm will turn. Then will come the apologies and the denials. You can decide for yourself whether you think they are worthy of your forgiveness.
In the time of the Intolerant Liberal, be a Thomas Maule.
A rabal rousing Quaker named Thomas Maule was a righteous pain in the ass to the Church of Salem in 1692. He spoke out repeatedly against the Puritans. Nothing they did to him could shut him up:
One of Thomas' early attacks was a statement in 1669 accusing Mr. Higginson, the minister of Salem, of preaching lies and instructing in the doctrine of devils. For this he was sentenced to be whipped. He must have been rather consistent in his attacks, because in one of his writings he states that he was imprisoned five times, fined three times, and whipped three times. Thomas opposed the caste system, Puritan laws denying persons with less than a specified amount of wealth the right to wear certain clothing and accessories, and other Puritan laws. When his store in Salem was robbed, the authorities refused to apprehend the culprits or to recover the stolen merchandise.
And then, after the mass hysteria and the hangings in Salem, Maule wrote yet another pamphlet against the Church, called Truth Held Forth and Maintained, directly accusing the Chruch of going against God:
Among the points discussed by him in the pamphlet was an allegation that God would adversely judge the prosecutors of the Salem witch trials.
Maule, like everyone else in Salem, knew it had all been lies. So why would they not be judged? He was funny too and famously wrote, “Better 100 witches should live than that one person be put to death for a Witch, which is not a Witch”:
Maule would have spent his life in jail with his pamphlet banned had he not demanded to be tried in front of a jury of his peers in Salem. He argued before the court and was found Not Guilty.
How to survive in the age of the Intolerant Liberal means being a Thomas Maule, a righteous pain in the ass never shutting up.
Maule’s case would ultimately be cited as an early inspiration for the First Amendment. These rights are our most valuable gift from the Founding Fathers because they wrote into our Constitution that they are inalienable, not given to us by the government but by God.
But what good is that freedom if you aren't going to use it?
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