Rob Reiner wanted to sleep. But his thoughts swirled around in his brain like a cage full of butterflies. Make it stop, make it stop.
Haunted by Archie Bunker just hours ago, something about how January 6th was like the JFK assassination made Reiner’s Christmas Eve a nightmare. Maybe it all finally got to him, all those months of research looking into the history of the CIA, rogue agents, false flag operations, gaining public support for a cause, or a war, a president who was at odds with the war machine.
James Carville accused him of being a crazy conspiracy theorist, like people who thought January 6th was an inside job. He wasn’t one of those guys. He followed the facts. Facts our government covered up. Most Americans would be shocked to learn about the psychological warfare, meddling in elections in foreign countries, and, of course, the CIA assassinations of world leaders.
The last episode of his podcast, Who Killed JFK, discussed just that:
Back when Kennedy was shot, the public had no idea that there were secret operations planned to gain public support through things like plane crashes that killed American citizens. No wonder so many tin foil hat types thought 9/11 was one of those to get us into a war with Iraq.
But January 6th wasn’t anything like that. It was just proof of what we’ve all been saying about Trump and MAGA for years. This is what we warned against. A coup, an armed insurrection of violent terrorists, white supremacists attempting to overthrow the government and overturn the results of the election.
But something wasn’t coming together.
He shakes it off, blinks again, and reconnects with his hatred of Trump and MAGA. That was his happiest place. They’re the bad guys, remember that. Kennedy was a good guy, and back then, the bad guys were all in government, and they were threatened by his refusal to play ball.
MAGA were all Christian Nationalists, most definitely not the good guys. Reiner had no problem with real Christians like David French, who are all about love, compassion, and empathy.
Reiner would wish the real Christians like David French a Merry Christmas tomorrow, just like he’d done a year ago.
He should be happy tonight, but he wasn’t. The room was too quiet. He thought he could still smell lingering cigar smoke. Was he bothered by what Archie Bunker said? Not even real Archie Bunker. Ghost Archie Bunker.
He knew why they shot Kennedy because he understood the fear of Communism and how that built the modern-day security state after World War II, what President Ike called the “Military Industrial Complex.” Every citizen of this country, from Oppenheimer to Kennedy, was a potential threat. And the government went to war on them.
But nothing like that is happening now. The Democrats are in power. We stood against McCarthyism.
“Because MAGA is the new Red Scare, dummy.”
“Who said that?” Reiner sits up and squints into the black of night.
“You heard me. MAGA is the new ‘war on terror,’ take it from a guy who knows. Only thing is we don’t have leaders like Eisenhower to put a stop to it, and certainly, no one to stand up and say, have you no decency?”
“Wait a second, you sound just like…you can’t possibly be …”
“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.”
“…Col. Jessup from A Few Good Men,” Reiner says. “Great, now my own movie characters are visiting me.”
“Well, technically, it’s Aaron Sorkin’s character, but yeah. You get the general idea. I’m the Ghost of Christmas Present.”
“David French,” Col. Jessup says, disgusted. “That’s the best you could come up with? Another self-important hack dolling out hysteria pills for the pearl-clutching elites who pore over every word. He should be ashamed of himself. So should you. So should the New York Times. I won’t hold my breath.”
“David French is a good man,” Reiner says. “He’s just worried about Democracy, like every decent American would be.”
“Well, they sure thought that in 1954, didn’t they?” Jessup says. “I guess Democracy starts to become a problem when your guy is losing to Public Enemy Number One. I’d be freaked out, too. Democracy, it seems, has become a threat to Democracy.”
“They’re not so good, so?” Reiner says. “I mean, they go up and down. But that doesn’t mean Biden won’t win in 2024. He will.”
“Well, I guess he better win, right?” Jessup says, “They’ve already raided Mar-a-lago, impeached him twice, indicted him four times, and now, removed his name from the ballot in Colorado. What else can they do to Trump except shoot him?”
“He led an armed insurrection! He should be disqualified!” Reiner screams.
Jessup laughs, “Imagine my shock discovering people like you, the counterculture revolutionaries, are in support of the United States locking up political protesters just for a riot that got out of hand with sentences as long as 8 to 10 to 20 years. Talk about sellouts. Just imagine what the Chicago 7 would think about you guys.”
Reiner throws up his hands in frustration, “They were insurrectionists! America can’t be controlled by people who will use force to get what they want.”
Jessup stands and looms over Reiner. “America already is.”
“But something makes me not want to give up on you, Rob. You know what that is?” Jessup blows out the smoke right into Reiner’s face, who coughs and waves the smoke away.
“I have no idea. And at this point, I don’t care. Let’s just get this over with.”
“It’s your podcast,” Jessup backs away into the darkness. All Reiner can see is the glowing ember of the end of his cigar. “Yeah, if it wasn’t for that, I could throw you on the scrap heap with the rest of ‘em. But you get it. You’re reachable.”
“Don’t insult the memory of JFK by comparing him to racists, fascists, insurrectionists, and bigots,” Reiner fumes.
“Just for the sake of argument,” Jessup says. “If you knew operatives hired by security agencies working with the FBI - like the people you talk about in your podcast — and all of them were being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to lure in pro-Trump people on the fringe of our society, that outnumbered the actual Trump supporters helping to breach the Capitol, if you knew the calls for the National Guard went unanswered.
You knew the government and the FBI had all the information months before it happened but left the Capitol vulnerable. What would you conclude?”
“Conspiracy Theory nonsense,” says Reiner.
”Don’t you get it?” Jessup snaps, “It’s like a sea of Lee Harvey Oswalds. A sea of sheep-dipped operatives, poor as dirt, doing the bidding of the government, building more Oswalds every day because those people are as disposable as he was.”
“It’s not the same.”
“In all my life as a movie character,” Jessup says. “I mean, a military man, I know there is nothing so terrifying as when one group feels justified dehumanizing another. Maybe it’s time we started looking into why Trump is so popular in the first place. Maybe then, you can see them as human beings, and maybe then, you’ll see reality. So let me do that for you—or rather, Tucker.”
***
Jessup snaps his fingers, and they’re flying over a scene in another state, “Remember East Palestine? Remember how the old man didn’t go and sent poor Mayor Pete to stomp around awkwardly in boots to show they cared? Well, Trump had no problem going and listening to their suffering. They celebrated his presence there. Who else has that kind of relationship with unseen America?”
“That was a photo op, too,” Reiner says. “Trump is a grifter, a con man. He knows exactly how to make desperate people cling to his coattails.”
***
Jessup snaps his fingers again and they’re huddled at a Trump rally, rain pelting down on them. Reiner starts whimpering. “I want to go home.”
“Did you ever see this?” Jessup says. “Trump staying as the rain poured down? His famous orange hair soaking wet. But he doesn’t care, and neither do they. He did five rallies or more heading into 2020. He spends every week talking to voters. Just talking to them. Does any politician in this country right now, including the President, do anything close to that?”
Jessup pins Reiner back with his gaze, points a finger at him, and says, “What can you offer those people, Rob? What about the old man in the White House? What’s he offering? Nothing. Just dehumanizing them, alienating them, and disenfranchising them. Abandoned by our government, our culture, our corporations - their towns hollowed out by bad trade policies, what else do they have except Trump and even that you want to take away.”
“That’s a lie,” Reiner yells. “They did this to themselves by joining the Trump cult. They didn’t have to do that. It was America or Trump. Other people out there could represent them, the good Republicans like Mitt Romney, Liz Cheney, or Adam Kinzinger. We’re not the monsters for trying to save this country from them! Stop lying!”
“We’re almost done, Rob,” Jessup says. “But I’ve saved the best for last.” “I know you didn’t watch this, and the news didn’t cover it. Their job is to work for the Democrats. But look now and see what our government, and our country, has become at the hands of the once-mighty left.”
Jessup snaps his fingers, and they’re inside a makeshift committee meeting. Marjorie Taylor Greene sits with Matt Gaetz, listening to the testimony of the January 6th prisoners and their families.
Jessup leans in and says softly in Reiner’s ear, “How is this happening in America? And why don’t people like you care? Why don’t you care? What happened to you? When did you become such a patsy?”
Reiner explodes, “I’m not a Patsy! No one is above the law! We have to control right-wing extremism that threatens our democracy! We won’t have a country! Trump is the next Hitler! Why can’t you see that!”
“Right,” Jessup says. “Okay. Last thing, and then I’ll vanish from your life forever. This was written by Ron Paul and I want you to listen to every word so you can get a taste of how future generations will remember this moment.
“Can’t say it any clearer than that, Rob,” Jessup says.
Reiner crumples into a heap, too exhausted to speak.
“Every time the regime abuses their power,” Jessup says, “two things happen. First, they test their flock to see if they object. They never do. The second, Trump gets more popular. So the question now is, how far will they go? Tucker Carlson wonders the same thing.”
Jessup says,“Don’t forget what Kevin Costner says at the end of Oliver Stone’s JFK. The truth poses a threat to power. The truth, Rob. The truth.”
Jessup puffs on his cigar and checks his watch.
“Well, it’s Christmas Eve. I have to find more people to terrorize before the night is through. I’ll leave you with this. This is on your conscience, Rob Reiner. You have chosen to blind yourself to the corruption unfolding now. Is this what you want your legacy to be?”
“Rob? Rob?” A hand is shaking Reiner’s shoulder. His heart pounds so loudly he can barely make out the words. “Rob? Are you okay? You’re soaking wet!”
Michele’s voice finally breaks the spell, and Reiner collapses back onto his mattress. “Another bad dream?” she says.
But Reiner is too stunned, too afraid, too confused even to answer. He stares at the darkness all around him, hoping that the morning will come soon, hoping to be left alone on Christmas Eve. Hoping…
Coming up, A Christmas Carol Story Part Three: What Really Happened on January 6th?
//end
Rob Reiner and the Sea of Oswalds